he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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