i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
