i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
PANTIES FOUND
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