Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i think i have two assholes
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
