My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
