yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
