yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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