I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
