make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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