I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
