If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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