I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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