Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
