So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
