No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
