she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize