My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
