remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
