My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize