When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I believe in your delicious
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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