You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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