tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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