1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
