if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
