He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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