I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
NoShamevember. You game?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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