Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you guys were way drunker than both of me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
