it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
