why didn't you poke me back
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
