i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
