Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
