hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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