Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
