At least make sure they are 18
Why
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
