he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
