She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
