Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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