Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
