I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
my poor anus
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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