And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just pee around me
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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