I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
