He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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