Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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