Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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