How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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