end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
