jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
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Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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