"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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