Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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