i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You've changed since you got that strap on
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
