Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
