tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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