Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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