you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
