Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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