Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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