I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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