i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
