could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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