you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
