I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
