i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
