I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
