hotel room ftw
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
